Thursday, April 23, 2009

Jump in Where You Are!

No, haven't completely fallen by the wayside!

Busy, busy.

I recently read a very good book: The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows, historical fiction consisting of "letters" talking about the experience of the occupation of Guernsey during WWII. A delightful book.

Today, I had a cup of tea out of a nice teacup. A couple of weeks ago, I waxed my legs. I go days at a time without even remembering this resolution. But then I remind myself that this wasn't a resolution designed to make me feel guilty. And this wasn't a resolution requiring me to update this blog regularly. It's a resolution about picking up where I am, and doing something nice for myself. That's right, I bought a new duvet cover and sheets for our bed (some nice deals at, btw). And I got a light fixture for the ceiling in my sewing room (hasn't been installed yet, but getting it is a step). Cool light fixture (, again). I like it. It's not something I would put in the main areas of the house; too whimsical. But perfect for my sewing room.

I'm perfecting my pants pattern, and have made a couple of pair of pants that actually fit me. Such a novelty. Each pair is better than the prior one; I'm on number 3 right now. Just today, I took a few minutes to work on the pattern for the pocket.

Have been busy lately learning about something called SPD, or sensory processing disorder. It's something that has been around for a long time, but has only been given a name fairly recently. It can be caused by a couple of different things, but one is heredity, and I now see that it is pretty common in my family. It seems that I might be the only one in my family of origin who had sensory processing issues, but not to the level of sensory processing disorder; I now have three kids, who all have some pretty substantial sensory processing issues. It's weird to see stuff in my kids, read about it, see it in other family members, and see how it has impacted my life. (How does this fit into being nice to myself? Well, being more understanding with myself when I can't stand to hear another person talk--and am irritated by the sound of the refrigerator, the hum of the computer, the blink of florescent lights, etc., etc.)

It is spring! Jump in and enjoy it!
Bonny Joy

Friday, March 13, 2009

Fallen By The Wayside?

So. Another new year's resolution fallen by the wayside?

Yes and no. A couple of weeks ago I went to the library (by myself!) and spent an hour or so browsing at books. Last Sunday, I went out for dinner with some friends. On Monday I got braces.... (Not exactly a happy, feel-great thing to do, but it is something nice I did for myself.) Yesterday, I had a cup of tea with a friend (out of nice teacups!) and squeezed in a trip to the chiropractor.

I've been going to bed early, which is good and bad. Good in that I'm getting enough sleep, but bad in that I'm not getting time to spend by myself. (Still have remnants of that sinus infection I mentioned 3 weeks ago, so I've been trying to get extra rest.) I can't deny that there is also an element of depression (just go to sleep; not motivated to do anything else). Thinking about those questionnaires I've seen. "Are you no longer interested in activities you once enjoyed?" If so, maybe you should see your doctor....

Bonny Joy

Friday, February 20, 2009

Remiss, Remiss

Remiss, remiss, I have been remiss. Where has time gone? Today, my 2 yo came down with a fever; my 4 yo had one last week. I've been fighting a sinus infection for several weeks. Operating at less than 100%. Have frequently been going to sleep when I put the kids down, even if I don't have to. Not motivated enough to do anything else? Pretty sad.

I recently went in for my annual check-up and had a few tests done that I've been needing to have done. Not fun exciting things, but things that are ways to care for myself; to treat myself well. I suppose the next thing I should do is order replacements for my vitamins before I run out. Waiting until I run out before reordering is a way of not honoring myself and not taking care of myself. Getting a pap smear and ordering vitamins weren't really what I had in mind when I made this resolution.

Welcome to my first follower!

What nice things are you doing for yourself? Help give me ideas!
Bonny Joy

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Needs Improvement

Hmm. More than a week has passed. Haven't been posting partly because I've been going to sleep when I put my 2yo down. Sleep has just been feeling more appealing than other options... Is it actual fatigue, or evidence of my mental state? It is actual fatigue. Really feeling worn down some days. And not very successful at finding those really exciting things to get my enthusiasm going. (I am aware, however, that actual fatigue does not preclude evidence on my mental state.)

On Saturday, I went to a dance/workout class for adults. I was the only one who showed up, but they are going to give it another week, so they did the class. Kinda fun, but a workout. And the dance routine required me to do more sequential thinking than I was in the mood for.

I've been working on de-cluttering the house, which does feel good. Not really what I had in mind when I came up with DSNFYT, though. I think the answer is that I need to work harder on doing nice things for myself.

How would you rate your efforts?
Bonny Joy

Monday, February 2, 2009

My Inner Perfectionist

I haven't written in a few days, but I have been doing some nice things for myself. A couple of days ago, I took a decadently long, hot detoxifying mustard bath. I can't remember the last time I had done that.... My back was a bit sore from all of the boxes I had been moving, but, excuse to do it or not, I did do it.

I'm going to mention FLY lady again ( I've subscribed to her emails, and they really are encouraging. I've come up with a new meaning for "FLY": Finally LETTING Yourself. Finally LETTING myself have a clutter-free home. I've discovered the little voice inside my head that thinks there is something WRONG with someone who has a clean house. As in, they must be really uptight or something. Making peace with that part of me, and LETTING myself clean the house. Getting rid of the struggle. I've gone through three boxes (that have been sitting in the foyer) of random stuff that had been sitting on top of something, until they got tossed into a box when we were having people over. Random stuff that I didn't know what to do with.) In contrast with the past, I went through those boxes with fairly little angst. I just did it. I don't want this clutter laying around anymore. I've also done some work in the basement--unpacking several more boxes; organizing what is still in boxes. Put together some shelves (that have been disassembled since our move two years ago) and organizing overflow kitchen stuff on them. Last Friday for recycling, put out two huge bags of packing paper, along with a bunch of packing boxes and other boxes that we had been saving. Today, put out two huge bags of trash from the basement, along with two huge bags of broken toys from the backyard that I packed away some time ago, but hadn't gotten the bags out to the curb. So. This might not sound like "treating" myself, but it feels good.

FLYlady completely has my number about being a perfectionist. It's easier for me to see a bed unmade, then one imperfectly made. It's a struggle for me to get in touch with my inner perfectionist. After all, I'm not a perfectionist, my SISTER is a perfectionist. (Are you out there, Dawn? Are you going to refute my statement?) I realize that I feel some discomfort or embarrassment about my desire to have things ordered. Perhaps my DH is an odd choice in this area; on the one hand, he says he would like to have our house look like "Architectural Digest", but then won't hand up his coat or pick up his newspapers. And he sometimes jokes about my "Nazi" tendencies--I come up with an idea, I develop a plan, I work my plan. A joke, but also a jab. Makes me feel like there is something wrong with following through on what I set out to do. Like there is something wrong with being more comfortable when my spices are in alphabetical order. (Yeah, yeah, I can hear you snickering over the computer. One of those people.)

I'm struggling to accept that I am one of those people, and it is OK to be one of those people. (Is it? Is it really?) I'm feeling good about the work I've been doing. Today, I cleaned the clutter off the side of the porch (it had been there for almost two years), and swept the porch. I have given away to a new home (with full disclosure of defects) my old keyboard (with a loose connection to the power jack) and a glider (rocking chair) with a cracked base. Next week, I'm planning to send another chair out to a new home. Baby steps; baby steps; a little at a time. It was 1992 when I last went through ALL of my stuff. 16-1/2 years. OMG. But even after going through everything, my apartment still looked cluttered and crappy. Time for a change. Go through things, and GET RID OF THE CLUTTER. MOVE ON. Finally LET myself. Finally allow myself to have a tidy, comfortable, and inviting home. Stop feeling guilty about wanting things to be in order. Getting my psyche ordered enough that I am comfortable in a tidy home.... I've been working for years on the mental housecleaning; I think I am finally ready to do the physical housecleaning.

Is your psyche as cluttered as your home? Years ago (as I lived in a cluttered studio apartment), it occurred to me that I did not feel comfortable in a tidy environment. I realized one day that, if I was in a professional position where I needed to entertain in my home, I would need to have "public" parts and "private" parts; the public parts would be beautifully decorated and tidy; the private parts would be a cluttered mess. My cluttered psyche would not be comfortable is a tidy environment. I didn't love myself. I didn't think I deserved that much calm, beauty, serenity, whatever. So. It's been 16-1/2 years... (The initial sorting of all of my things was the result of a decision to finally get my home uncluttered.) That's a lot of time. But on the other hand, at least I am working on it. I've made a lot of progress (both internally and externally). This might be the year. It really might be. The foyer is tidy, the parlor is tidy, the master bedroom is tidy, the porch is tidy. I've made major progress in a lot of other areas. Feels good. I'm enjoying seeing empty spaces, not feeling uncomfortable with them (as I once was; I once caught myself thinking that a space looked odd without a pile of magazines in it).

I also looked into a class I've been wanting to take (on fitting pants), and see that it's being offered in a few months in a place within driving distance. I need to take it. It is something that I need to do for myself (and for my professional goals). Logistics are a challenge, but I've got to find a way to work it out. Also, found that a teacher that I have learned a lot from has a CD out that has more information than what was taught in the class; ordered the CD. Nice things for myself.

Bonny Joy

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Pressing (Not Ironing)

Today I put a new cover on my ironing board. (I suppose that might not seem like a big deal to YOU...) I even threw the old torn one away. (I did consider getting it out of the trash--to use as a pattern at some point--when I realized that the new one didn't fit as well as the old one, but I restrained myself.) I've been needing a new ironing board cover for a while, but haven't been inclined to go out and buy one; I did some unpacking in the basement a couple of days ago and discovered I had a new one already. Another reminder of the importance of having things organized. Also, found all of my pressing equipment, which I have been missing. (To put this in context for the non-sewers out there: All this pressing equipment is not for "ironing", it is for pressing during construction.)

This evening, I watched a few brief sewing videos on the computer and did a little knitting. (I'm getting tired of this sweater I am working on. Partly because I haven't had time to work on it, so it has been dragging on.)

Putting the new ironing board cover on made me smile. How big will my smile be when my sewing room is organized and decorated?

What made you smile today?
Bonny Joy

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Unpacking Boxes

Yesterday, I went to a "sew-in", sponsored by ASG (the American Sewing Guild). I don't (yet) know people very well, but it was nice to get some work done on a pattern for pants for myself.

Today, I unpacked some boxes in the basement. Might not sound like a lot of fun, but I had been wanting to do it. Still had boxes from our move over two years ago, and hadn't unpacked anything in a while. I was looking for something (which I didn't find), but it was good to make progress. I've been following FLYlady (, and am really getting motivated to get things de-cluttered. The foyer is cleared out, the space behind the computer desk is cleared out, the space around my comfy chair is cleaned out. Making progress, and it is really feeling good. Right now, my back is feeling all of the lifting I've done today; I'm planning to take a nice bath after the kids are in bed. (And I just had tea with my kids, out of a nice teacup.)

Hope you had a pleasant Sunday.